Hi. Some alternative help for alcoholism are AA online mtgs, Rational Recovery, or a good website is
http://www.soberrecovery.com/

I'm so sorry about your Mom. I also used to self medicate for ptsd. I really hope you're able to find support soon with therapy and medication. Another thing is alcohol is a depressant and drinking will stop meds from working property. I still after a year get anxious at AA mtgs. Sometimes I come early to sit by the door, leave early and pass on talking. The holidays are very hard and it's a common time for ppl to relapse. I cried for days between Thanksgiving and Xmas. I think you should feel proud that you were able to get sober without support and don't beat yourself up for relapsing. Almost every addict has been there. What's important is what you do with your life now. I hope you can move on and use tools to get back on the wagon. I self medicated my ptsd and many other illnesses with drugs and drinks. All it did for me was add complications and stopped my meds from working. This is a new year, and I hope you can clean the slate and forgive yourself. Be proud that you with no outside help you achieved sobriety. That is a great achievement and shows determination on your behalf.
I'll have a year sober 1/20/14 if all goes as planned. Message me anytime as I can really relate to your obstacles.

Peace. Tnt

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