I'm not the mothering type, not in the traditional sense anyway... By that I mean firstly I'm the polar opposite of domesticated and secondly taking care of someone else 24/7 did not and does not come to me naturally. Add the fact that I had my daughter at age 19 when I wasn't even expected to clean my own a.s.s. yet (parents babied me, because I'm the baby girl) and the task of motherhood was not only daunting but downright traumatizing in a sense...

Now for the good bits about me
I may not be naturally inclined to care for another 24/7, but I'm naturally a nurturer. I want what's best for her, I need to make sure she feels safe and loved. I comfort her when she needs a hug or an open ear, I guide her as much as is humanly possible and I make sure she knows that she matters, a lot. I may not be interested in cooking and cleaning, but I'm good at working so I've worked my butt off to make sure she has a good life. I've cultivated a relationship of open communication and trust between us. She is and knows she is number 1 in my life, everything I do, every choice I make gets run by her first.

Not literally no, lol. Its more thinking "how does this affect her", before making any decisions.
I would protect her with my life without blinking and for the most part I'm alive because of her.

She gives me a reason to be the best me I can be, and that includes being the best bipolar me possible. How does my bp affect her? For the most part it doesn't. I had to tell her my dx when she was only 6 though, she was scared and worried because I looked sad a lot and she had heard me crying. When I'm very low functioning, my family steps up and helps out. When I'm depro, she of her own volition understands that I need some alone time and will bless me with it. On the odd occasion when I was agitated and something venomous came out my mouth, I immediately sat her down and apologized, explaining that bp is no excuse and promised to do better. I even insist she call me out on any bad behaviour. So far I've only gotten "you're angry a lot sometimes and I don't like it".... which to me means I'm doing a pretty good job and because of her feedback I've learned to put myself in timeout until I calm the fk down so that she's not exposed to my aggro self.

Pregnancy was a blast, I wasn't dxd, but looking back it was a 9 month hypomania. I partied right through it ( relax! I was just dancing lol ) and literally went into labour after a 3 day party and zero sleep.

I didn't have any post partum issues, but 3 or 4 months in I did have an episode, which was brought on because I felt trapped by the non stop breast feeding, cleaning and the caring. Feeling trapped is a HUGE trigger for me.

I would say bp and motherhood can definitly mix. What makes the road smoother is a willing and strong support system. Her "father's" responsibility apparantly ended at conception, (which I'm cool with because he would've been a realllly terrible father) so I'm utterly grateful for my family's willingness to help care for her when I wasn't able to give the best of me and for inspiring me to be a better mom. They filled the gaps that I didn't know how to close at the time. The culture in our house has always been of the taking turns variety, and its not painfully obvious that these days, sometimes the turns are bp inspired. This way she doesn't have to grow up thinking she's lacking something, or even realize my slacking.

I always say I was blessed with the right child. I doubt another would be so intuitive and emotionally mature, I mean gosh! She didn't even need potty training!!! and this puts me off of having another child... buuuuut. I now know what I'm capable of and I also understand my shortcomings. So mayyyyybe one day if the stars align i.e: I'm married, financially secure enough to afford a part time nanny with MY money and bf wants a child of his own... then I would go for it.

For me the scariest part of motherhood was molding a whole new live humanbeing, being responsible for the person she would one day become. She just turned 10 on Sunday and according to everyone, including me I think I've done a pretty amazing job so far, and that she's on the right track

I talk A lOt don't I?
In my defense though, this subject has been not only emotionally charged, but a very complex one for me.