You have a lot of good advice in your thread, everyone is genuinely trying to be helpful to you Emily.

But Emily, 20 is still very young and you are going to grow and change a lot the next several years. I really feel that for you to get tied up in a romance with someone so much older than you right now is not a good idea. You really need to "find you" first, and you are still in college yet, you have not had a chance to set out on a career for yourself yet, now is not the time to get tied down at all. It is "normal" for someone your age to think about "being in love" though, but that doesn't mean you are truly ready for it "yet". Biologically, your body is ready, it's just how we are designed, but that doesn't mean you are anywhere near "psychologically" ready.

I do think that you said too much to this guy though. Learn from this, because you gave him too much to "debate" that was not really necessary. All you really had to say is, "I think you are a really nice person, I definitely have enjoyed talking to you and even spending time with you, but I am really only 20 and I am just not ready to make any kind of commitment to "anyone" right now in my life at this point. The way you handled it was "asking" for him to try to "convince you" or "sell himself", and it also put him down too. You need to be "careful" what you say to people, try not to be judgmental, especially if you know the person is a nice person. You are not out shopping for a handbag here, questioning the viable label or quality or if it will last. This is where you need to "mature" and "learn" about too. Next time try to write down the pro's and con's on your own, not so much pushing these at the other person so that other person is put on the defensive.

Learn from this and think about all the messages you have in your thread too, there are some good messages here in your thread.

((Hugs))
OE