It's been exactly 4 mos for me too. I do feel ur pain, REALLY and truly.
I have had stages, anger, hurt, guilt and sadness. Sometimes I think
about him and cry... but my scenario is different. I wuz devastated when
we broke up, but the aftermath wuz 10x worse. He turned into a totally
different person; bitter, verbally abusive, miserable .. wasn't him. He
had issues too, but we now hate each other. He , I believe is using again.
Time will heal all wounds. I miss the person he wuz.