Thank you so much for your replies. All have given me many helpful things to consider.

As far as scheduling goes, we really have problems because of her totally random sleeping. Today, she woke up at 2am. She was frustrated all day because she wanted to go back to sleep but couldn't shut her brain off. I agree that she's really having problems... I hate seeing her suffer and not being able to do anything about it.

Lol benadryl makes her WIRED. I hate the idea of her gong on APs but she's already self harming and I hate to think of where that can lead as she gets older. A woman I know told me today that her kid was moody and couldn't sleep too. She killed herself at age 16. :'( sad and scary. I can't imagine what that lady must have gone through. I really feel for her.

I think I'm just having a hard time knowing which parts are my issues and which parts are mine. It took years to get her into a shrink, and she's on medicaid so her visits are few and far between and will end altogether soon. I'm afraid for her.