Autumn - thanks for that explanation. It does help...my mom was also like that and said things like that she couldn't wait for me to leave. I don't really want to get into specifics...but my fear is in going to therapy and trying so hard to talk about my feelings and feel them..And really just being in a victim mentality. I think my T has touched on that with me and it's resonating in my heart and mind today. But I don't know how to just move on and let go. If I did, I would never have gone to therapy in the first place. I don't feel heard or understood - and part of that is I can barely make a coherent sentence or even thought sequence in therapy half the time.

Sometimes I feel like my T thinks I should suck it up as I'm just being a victim. I wish I knew how to do that because if I did, I would.