'Playing the victim' within ones therapy is part of the communication.
"We do what we do until we know better, than we do better" - you all know that beautiful maya Angelo quote.
Some never move out of that state of being if they refuse to seek help.
It may feel like a comfy blanket, but it's like an addiction, you get an initial warmth than your looking for another sympathy hit almost immediately.
It's a torturous existence.
But if active in treatment than one eventually sheds that skin.
We need our wounds to be witnessed within therapy. Until we get new language to describe our pain we fall back on the only way we know.
A skilled therapist can lead you.