Thank you, Claritytoo! I think you're right that I am grieving the loss of having my father. I think my problem has been that I haven't been trying to grieve - I've been trying to hold in my emotions about him because I felt like he didn't deserve me to grieve over him. I know he doesn't deserve me to grieve, but I guess I deserve to allow myself to grieve. Thank you so much for your insight!! Tonight I will give myself some time to grieve my loss over him. I've been feeling ashamed to admit I cared about my dad a little bit. Thank you for helping me feel that it was okay.