I'm sorry that you're feeling like your T has backstabbed you basically. Are you surprised that she's doing that? Based on her past behaviour, I'm not surprised at all. Although it would definitely be disappointing. I'm sorry that you aren't able to stop seeing her, because from the things you share with us it doesn't really sound like she's done a single useful thing for you. At least she did tell your parents to at least think about it and consider it.

That said, I do agree with your parents for saying no to going back to your old T. She really did cross a LOT of boundaries with you and you're still dealing with that attachment. Curling up in a ball and melting down does show what an unhealthy attachment it was misswimmy - I'm sorry that you aren't able to see that yet.

It sounds like as much as you hated it... your T really was trying to help prepare you for the meeting with your family by running through scenarious. My T's wanted to do that with me, but he thinks I'm too fragile for it and that I would take it personally (he'd be throwing out fairly abusive stuff at me as he'd be acting as my family). I don't like to admit it, but I probably am! But I think if I was going to be heading home to see people, I would be more open to it. But I haven't seen them in over and year and won't see them this year either. I don't think it was a smart plan of hers to do that moments before actually seeing your family though - it probably would have helped to do it at least a few days in advance so that you could recover from the raw feelings!!

I also think that she did have a point when she said that she was trying to help you for future events too. It's like she was trying to help you gain some agency and was trying to help you gain some control back. Our reactions to things do tend to influence how we are treated in the future - by breaking down completely over your parents refusal to allow you to go back to Old T, you demonstrated to them how totally unhealthy that relationship was. All they see is that you went to pieces (Ok, so the terms I'm using sound really horrible) over not getting your way. If you had been able to take it in stride and accepted it, they might be more likely to listen to your opinions in the future about other subjects. Which really sucks, but it is often how things go.

I totally get how you would feel that your parents forfeited their right to make your decisions when they failed you the first time. Have they failed you before that too? Or is that their one (colassal) mistake? Regardless.... as long as you're a minor and they are controlling the finances, then they do get control. As soon as you're 18 and no longer having them pay for you, you'll be free! Hopefully you don't have too much longer to go for that. It's really hard having to wait though.

I'm sorry if this post has sounded harsh. Mostly I was trying to give you a different perspective on the things that your T did. I wouldn't like her either, but I think I can see where she was trying to do with the things she said and did with you and it does sound like she was attempting to help you. Even though it backfired. It clearly wasn't the right approach for you.