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Old Jan 04, 2014, 10:51 AM
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Freewilled Freewilled is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: US
Posts: 1,708
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna View Post
Playing the victim is a defense. It works well enough to get us what we want at first but is not working so well anymore. One can't just drop/change it, it has to be replaced with better habits. Practice/learn to see what your T sees when she mentions "you're doing it again" or whatever she says so you can catch yourself. Then call your own bluff, "Oh, I was wanting some comfort right now, this stuff is so very hard!" and give yourself a break! No one labels/calls us names to make us feel bad, they are either trying to help or are trying to make themselves feel good by making us feel bad (and there the accent is on themselves, not us). With my T I learned to make a blanket assumption she was trying to help me in some way and looked to see what it was and when I had trouble understanding, I learned to ask her about it.
Thank you, Perna! That was so helpful to me....I struggle to see my T as helping or trying to help. Sometimes I get scared of him and that he's a danger to me emotionally. I do believe on some level right now that he is not trying to hurt me and if I could hold onto that and learn to make that blanket assumption that he is trying to help me, I really think I could have a break through...Instead of staying in my panicked, limbo state that I find myself back in again and again. Thank you because that place feels very torturous.
Thanks for this!
Aloneandafraid