What would you tell me? It's worth the risks of withdraw to continue trying to take the medication as you can. If they'll support you either way then they can and should support you with this too.

Do you remember how bad it gets unmedicated? When I was depressed I'd almost always quickly reach a catatonic like state until I switch back to okay. Which is better then this. Mania leaves me to the point that it's only a matter of time until I get put on an involuntary hold or incarcerated.

Is there any way you could just get medications PRN, maybe a short acting AP or benzo for the times it gets really tough? I have a short term AP which I end up taking 1-6x every 2 wks. even with my other meds. I don't want a benzo. I was offered it and declined.