as the days go on they just meld together like nothings happening. its all so sad. becauss nothing IS happening. i sleep and smoke and eat. im not content with my life. i remember when i wanted to move out. but now i cannot as i cannot even bring myself to physically live or mentally live. this is such a disservice. i cant do anything i want to do or need to do. i dont want to live. if only anyone outside of here only knew...

edit///
i take that back i want to live but i cant. its like im not allowed to live.

sometimes i cant even post on here its like too much trouble.