Sunny,

I have had moments of clarity with some therapists. As if the sky opened and the sun burst through. The lightbulb moment.

One I can share: I was talking with my current therapist and in conversation about something else it came up about how my mother treated my oldest brother as if he was perfect, better than the rest of us, someone we could never be as good as, etc. She kind of non-chalantly said that "She didn't do him any favors" and we talked a minute about what she meant. After that, I have been able to see my brother in a completely different light. I understand his attitude, his many failed marriages, even his financial successes in a new way. He had to keep up the image that he didn't even create; it wasn't a blessing for him.. it was a burden.

This led me to make a few attempts to connect with him and we have exchanged an email. There might be hope. We have not hardly spoken in years. Pretty amazing if you ask me!

ECHOES