My mom was definitely a victim when she was a child - she grew up in an abusive environment. I'm not sure if she sees herself that way, at least not consciously.

However. My mom definitely "plays the victim" and has a matyr complex. She never refers to her childhood, but her victim role is acted out against my brother and I and anyone else who might not do EXACTLY what she wants. If she doesn't get her way she often does things like telling me what an ungrateful daughter I am and that I don't know anything and just... plays the victim. She'll even flat-out lie about things I've done or said to portray herself as a victim to others. She once told a close-friend of mine things like that I was refusing to visit them but that I was making them pick me up at the airport and pay for my flight. I showed my friend my email - where I'd asked to borrow the money for a few weeks so I could get a cheaper flight, and said that I wasn't going a day's worth out of the way to visit them - but said that they could some and visit my brother and nieces at the same time I was and then they could see everyone else too. My friend was shocked at just HOW different my mom's version was from the email I'd sent.

So.. have I been a victim of emotional and verbal abuse and neglect? Yes I have. But I am NOT a victim. I was a victim, but I am not a victim now.