Tremor: It was not my dad who abused me. My dad is actually one of the kindest and most respectful people I know. I'm very lucky that way. He has been my only positive male role model.

I can't stand up against him (alter/voice) right now. That is the problem. I am too scared, so between sessions I've been avoiding it as much as possible. No matter what I say, he always has a scary answer to it, and is very manipulative. We talked at my last session about it possibly being my greatest fears voicing themselves through this vision/voice/alter/whatever it is.

The most I'm able to do out of therapy is not let my mind go there, and focus on distracting and avoiding. I know my T doesn't want me to focus on 'what' it is, and rather on finding a way to confront him, but I keep thinking that if I knew 'what' it was I could better equip myself. It's difficult.

I really do appreciate the support from you all, though!