Like the baby she never slept like, I'm sure. She has literally always had problems with sleep, even as an infant. I followed *perfect* sleep hygiene and a *perfect* freaking bedtime routine with her for YEARS and finally gave the hell up when she was about 9 or 10 because all she ever did was toss and turn for hours, telling me her brain WOULD NOT STOP. This was about the time I had to pull her out of regular school. She *used* to get regular, strenuous physical activity, but now it's only on upswings because her down swings go so low. Today I had to fight with her just to get out of bed, and she cried (real tears) all day long. I feel so bad for her.

Her pdoc told me once all of the ADHD meds were shown not to work a lamictal/seroquel combo would likely be the next step for her because staying awake for three days straight pretty clearly is a bipolar symptom. I remember her being two and being able to stay awake for days on end. She never even seems tired unless she's depressed, and even then, she still doesn't really sleep well or much. I know *we all* know what that feels like, but I seriously doubt there are other MI that can cause highs & lows like that.

Whatever is going on with her needs to be nipped in the bud before she fully hits puberty IMO. My entire family (all women because we all drive men away) is bipolar, and we all freaked out and went nuts as teenagers, all of us had multiple suicide attempts & frighteningly risky behavior from about ages 12-25.
I'm glad that her self-harm attempts are so far limited to smacking herself on the head repeatedly and or slamming her head into walls and or failing on the ground, but horrified that she is even doing that at age 11. She has NOT mellowed with age, and I fear she won't until she's around 30. I know I *still* haven't mellowed at 31.

I'm sure there are *plenty* of other factors at play here, but sleeping is my top priority for her at this stage of the game, because I'm sure it would help to regulate her moods some all by itself (then again, pdoc said that about me. Not that seroquel puts ME to sleep). Her dad isn't around a lot, and is somewhat scary when he is, and refuses to give her any meds, including those for asthma. She's not on many, and no steroids unless it's life or death - she has a history of psychosis on anything that speeds her up at all. She has a history of mild psychosis OFF of everything.

I blamed myself entirely for her behavior until our family doc looked at me one day and said, "you know, (pointing at her) NONE of this is normal" as she bounced all over the room talking a million miles an hour. Every other doc she sees agrees there, except her pdoc, who she hides things from because she's "too scared to talk" - probably because she knows her father has access to her records. My mother thinks her behavior isn't that far out of whack, but she's nuts, and also thought *I* was "normal". I am very clearly not normal in anyone's eyes. She is a good kid, I'll give my mother that, but I've made a point of sheltering her to make sure of it. But I can't shelter her forever. So she's gonna need some help dealing.

I don't know. I feel up in the air about things. So far we know that adderall makes her see and hear things, and bounce off the damn walls so fast the kitten can't keep up with her, intuniv makes her depressed (or?? maybe it's just a cycle?), and trazodone helps her IBS and blood pressure but nothing else. She also said some very scary things about death and nightmares she was having while she was on the adderall. It made her so much worse that my little sister stole the bottle during a visit with her. Wrong approach, but right idea. It didn't help her any.

I would love to fix her diet, but have no clue how since she's so out of control. There are days when she won't eat at all - like most of today, so I give in when she asks.

?????

I'll keep you guys posted on her progress. I feel bad for giving her my terrible genes (and her father's terrible genes).