Just was with parts of my family I do not see often, they live far away. Nice to see them. BUT someone started talking about things I did like 20+ years ago.... horrific things I did during episodes... I was sobbing, terrified, I really do not remember these things. My sister-in-law ( whom I get along with very well) said, "Someday we will sit down and we will talk about all those things", then a bit later on she shifted "Maybe there are just some things that you do not need to ever know"..... I don't know what is the worst part... hearing things that I don't remember, the thought of sitting down with her and hearing MORE, or the idea that I may never know just how bad I had gotten during my "episodes". These events all took place before I got my diagnosis and started psych meds.
So, I guess I am asking anyone's advice, opinions on whether it is better to know. I mean this was a long time ago and there isn't anything I can change about it... but what if there are some things that I could try to make amends for? So would you want to know? or just "try" to let the blanks in memory stay blank?