Sometimes it seems like they are just missing the intensity of what we are experiencing, doesn't it. If you feel that right at the moment, try just telling her she's missing the boat, but I understand how it doesn't always hit you until later. Try to remember that it is you feeling the frustration or anger and not your T. You going to the next session and telling her how you felt in response to what she said isn't going to upset her. She's not feeling the conflict personally, so she isn't going to respond with anger. She'll be interested in your response. Why this was a trigger for you, etc.

I had this happen with my last session. I was extremely agitated and left feeling like he wasn't hearing me. I he absolutely knew I was fuming by the time I left his office. Well, I went back this week and we discussed what had happened, what he said that triggered me so intensely, and I finally felt heard. He wasn't angry with me at all, and I felt reassured.

You have to bring this up and talk through it. That's actually how you will learn to build trust.