My Support Forums - View Single Post - Would you want to know what you don't remember?

Squaw · Jan 04, 2014, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jadedbutterfly

Just was with parts of my family I do not see often, they live far away. Nice to see them. BUT someone started talking about things I did like 20+ years ago....

horrific things I did during episodes... I was sobbing, terrified, I really do not remember these things. My sister-in-law ( whom I get along with very well) said, "Someday we will sit down and we will talk about all those things", then a bit later on she shifted "Maybe there are just some things that you do not need to ever know"..... I don't know what is the worst part... hearing things that I don't remember,

the thought of sitting down with her and hearing MORE

, or the idea that I may never know just how bad I had gotten during my "episodes

". These events all took place before I got my diagnosis and started psych meds.
So, I guess I am asking anyone's advice, opinions on whether it is better to know. I mean this was a long time ago and there isn't anything I can change about it... but what if there are some things that I could try to make amends for? So would you want to know? or just "try" to let the blanks in memory stay blank?

As far as your "episodes" I'm not aware of what you are referring to..sorry. I can only tell you that I cannot remember most of my childhood..I have no explanation why I can't, but I've had my doc tell me that I shouldn't EVER let anyone try to make me remember..He explained that our brains block some things that were obviously traumatic to us, and it's like a safety mechanism..He says that it's possible for triggers to cause me to remember, maybe not, but he was firm about telling me to "leave it alone". I hope this was somewhat helpful to you, but I can say that at times it does bother me that I have forgotten what might have been the best years of my life..my childhood. Be blessed..♥ Squaw