i used to get this pain. still do sometimes. i knew it was psychological (mostly). they told me it was an emotion. i didn't believe them. emotions don't feel like that. or... they shouldn't.

that kind of pain is meant to be a narcissistic (ego) defence. against shame.

so... we were both right :-) it ISN'T an emotion. but it is a DEFENCE against one.

shame.

in the absence of affect regulation defences like projective identification and denial and repression etc are meant to defend against the intolerable.

shame.

makes sense to me.

tomorrow... i'm going to try and talk to my t about this.

maybe...

:-)