I've have not been on here in awhile, I have had some great things happen to me recently, but my body is failing me. Confirmed I was in a coma in November with hypothermia months ago. Now my general symptoms of my body are basically crippling me, I cannot walk much and or have energy. I am not sad nor happy, more or less angered by the fact, my life isn't much worth at this point and or ever. I lived for nothing, I got abused my whole life to be told we don't know what's with your body you are going to die. Well mind my language it is needed here, because "Well ****!" I don't really care bout censoring that at the moment, if you don't like it don't bother reading if it bothers you. I may sound rude and mean, but I am being completely honest, I don't know if I have any time or little time to live with my physical health failing me. I haven't found any happiness and became completely indifferent into anything anymore. Like I show little to no emotion, and the fact I haven't felt true love and or felt safe ever in my life struggling with PTSD from sexual, physical, and emotional abuse all the time one or all of them at least. I can easily say, my life wasn't worth what it was caught up to be yeah, I am hopeless, but I may need faith at this point, because I know I am dead for sure. The neuro drs cannot help me, my vitals look normal, but it could be parkinsons disease, which I know for a fact could easily explain my symptoms and that why they can't find out what's wrong with me on top of that, I am only just turned 20. So I am not meaning harm or insensitivity when I say this, I think I am ok to feel that I don't care what happens to anyone now good and bad, because since I haven't gotten anything I've needed realistically. I'm better off dead like anyone else. I've turned my back and given up on anyone even the people I love, because they have long ago given up on me. I want to act ungrateful at this point because what else do I have suffer and not indulge into my own pleasure until this is over. I don't know you tell me?