My first T at first session said "we will not ever go there" when I was trying to tell her about parents always away from home drinking when I was growing up. A little later she laughed and made a rude remark when I blushed with embarrassment trying to tell about sibling abuse. I really have no idea how I made it through that first session.

After I went home I started going over what happened. I spent a lot of time over the next week trying to figure out if I should go to next appointment, find a different T and how I could address the problems if I did go back. Not really knowing what to expect from T I decided to write a list of questions I wanted answered and what I expected from therapy. When I did go to the next appointment I told her that I had the list of questions and that her answers would help me decide if I would continue seeing her.

She answered each and every question and listened to me when I told her how I was feeling about her comments the week before. It took most of that session to get through the session and rant about what she said. When we had about 10 minutes left I was running down. She looked me straight in the eye and said "Good you have your back bone back now."

From time to time over the next few years we talked about those first two sessions. In looking back now I know that if I feel that something is an issue for me it is my job to let my T know that it is an issue that I want to work on. I also gained confidence from those sessions to know that it is alright to confront not only T but others when something is important to me.