Jon,

Everyday I read a little more, whether it's the books I've got or from resources on the Web, and I'm still fascinated with it all.

I get into the mood you describe too though, where I'm non-reactive, just flat. This especially happens when I'm at work, when all kinds of crap is just thrown at me, and it kind of just bounces off me like a brick wall, and I don't really care. I'm just like, "who gives a crap, none of it really matters." And everyone always comments on how calm I am in the midst of chaos. Maybe I am just like you?