I have intrusive thoughts, all the time. I get extremely violent, scary, sexual and very upsetting intrusive thoughts. Some days they are constant. I do have Bipolar but the intrusive thoughts are due to OCD that happens regardless of my bipolar mood state.

Try to remember that you will not act on these thoughts, you think you might, you worry that you might just do what they urge you to do one day - but in all my years I have very very very rarely acted on them. Its very unlikely you will do it and not remember it. Try to hold on to the fact that you are a good person and wouldnt do these things.

Im sorry you are suffering so much. I can really relate. I am hoping to get these thoughts sorted this year with therapy as meds have barely had an effect on them. My pdoc seems to dismiss them though which is a bit frustrating as they do upset me so much. Perhaps you can find a therapist to help you through this?