like I said I cant get this stuff out of my head I was thinking about when my T confronted me about being upset at her not calling me when she was not there and I showed up (she did I had just not gotten the call) the sectary told her that I was very upset. this was not how I saw it at all . she said that my T had call everyone and I responded with except me.it wasn't mean, loud or anything at all. as I was leaving she said that she would have my T call me .I said don't bother .now I know that statement was probably showing how irritated I was but I was not loud ,mean or anything when I said it .that was the whole interaction .I left after that .it was all of 1 min interaction. anyway I get to my next session and my T confronts me .telling me that her sectary said I was extremely upset . that it was not the secretary fault it was hers etc.... acted like I was way out of line etc... I don't know if I was way out of line ,if my T thought I was or if that is just how I am seeing it, did I behave inappropriately or disrespectful to her secretary . I just don't know . all I feel is that I got yelled at by T for something I don't understand I did wrong. i hate that I even showed any emotion. I wonder if this is what has been going on in my life. was I really what the mother said and I created this world that said she was abusive . but then I always feel like I act like a spoiled child .even as an adult .i am so confused about what my reality really is . sometimes I am so so sure then it all falls apart and switches and is unrecognizable. I don't know .