Would having these feelings for an older woman make it better for you? Or some weird guy? KWIM? At least if he's cute, having these feelings seems reasonable. I don't need that extra layer of complexity or weirdness. I had a male t who i felt was just not "cool" - i couldnt get past that. That is probably the core of my identity, good or bad. Beatnik cool. So your t has Buddhist cool. Embrace that. Analyze your desire for attachment inside the Buddhist ideal of no desire. You have a unique opportunity here, why throw it away?