Thorn: You missed Trippin's point. You can't change his behaviour, but how is understanding it going to help you?

Unless he wants to understand and change, then things will never change. You've disagreed with many people on here because you say you have read more than they know (which is an assumption btw), but really.. if you've read it all, then what do you expect to learn by coming here and asking for people who are diagnosed NPD to tell you WHY they do the things they do?

You shouldn't have to learn how to put up with being treated like a POS. Understanding his rages won't help. The chances that you actually do things to cause them is bunk - NO ONE deserves to be treated like a POS no matter what they do.

What does he think about things himself? He's the only person who can give you answers that will satisfy you.

Like.. I get caring about someone and wanting to be there for them throughout thick and thin. But you can't support and help him if he doesn't see that there's a problem. All you'll end up doing is putting up with abuse and confirming to him that the way he behaves is acceptable and that you're fine with it. Thus giving him "permission" to continue it. If he doesn't see that there's a problem, then your best option is really to just cut your losses.