Man...can I relate. Breakups under the influence of depression are...well, let me just say that I took a gunshot wound to the left knee when I was a Marine...the most physically painful, frightening, and traumatic experience of my life...and I would trade going through that pain every year for the rest of my life if it meant that I never had to deal with post-break up depression again (or honestly, depression at all...ever).

Definitely see about going on meds if you aren't already. You wouldn't refuse morphine for a gunshot wound because of a social stigma, so don't let social pressure keep you from getting meds that can help with that emotional pain. It's real and it's BRUTAL. I have US Government issued bad *** credentials, and I'm hereby endorsing getting help. Anyone who suggests that it makes you crazy/weak is an ignorant putz. They just don't understand the intensity of that pain.

Cast out lifelines. Get support from friends and family. This pain is going to take a while to resolve. Make sure you've got people to lean on while you ride this out.

Be careful about relying too much on your ex for support. I'm not sure why I'm even writing that, because I know that when I was in the immediate aftermath of my worst breakup, I wouldn't have been able to TAKE that advice. I was too close to the situation to recognize that continued contact with my ex was like picking at a wound...I never got any space to heal. It also took me a long time to recognize that, while it's so easy and so tempting to rely on somebody else for validation, it is also a guarantee of heartbreak.

My heart genuinely goes out to you. Rough road ahead. Rough, but do-able. You can ride this out. You just got to dig in deep and wait for the shelling to subside. You got this, sister. Just hold out.