My H would consider this a dream marriage. I think I would too. These expressions/connections are indicative to me of caring, sort of goes without saying on some level. There is no trust between us so there is none of the above either.
I don't understand what selfless expression, intimacy, you seek but if you can figure it out and say it out loud, that is probably the answer.

Dan; all the 'little things' I have always done for my H (your salad comes to mind) he does not make the connection that I do those things For Him. It is my nature to give, give, give, so what I do does not even occur to him as being special or caring. In fact he finds my "caring" & expressions of affection/concern/understanding inconveniences he has to endure.

But then, we could not be more mismatched if we had gone out and looked for our polar opposites on purpose.
He wants someone to talk theoretical physics with, talk about current events, anything but the RL around him. I like to garden/cook/camp/be with friends (even him), the nature/nurture type, everything important to me, he thinks is a waste of time & energy.

OP, count your blessings....