I am having an awful time in therapy. I'm really struggling with the therapeutic relationship; i really like my therapist very much but i'm fighting against any form of attachment to her, i'm not trusting her, i'm not always being honest about how i feel and right now i'm so damn angry with her even tho i know i have no reason to be, over something so silly.
I am trying to hard not to need her, but i do need someone and i'm angry that the person i need is her- a therapist. I'm angry that my life is so pathetic that a paid individual is the only person i can talk to.

I am so fuelled with self-loathing and anxiety that my skin has broken out in psoriasis all over my body. I have spent the entire weekend in a state of worry and panic over therapy and i managed to drunk text my therapist last night- cos that was an awesome idea
So now i have to face the music when i see her.

I just am entirely lost. I don't know how to get out of this spin-tail i seem to be in. I'm putting myself thru this for no reason but my body is in true fight or flight my brain is flooded with anxious thoughts and feels spacey, my heart is constantly fluttering and i have butterflies in my stomach or a sinking feeling not sure how to describe it. I feel like i'm under attack.

"Therapy is easy"- said no one ever.