Yeah...good point and observation on the society itself being not as accepting and loving of gays.

Definitely talk with your therapist about feeling numb about the abuse. I don't know the stages of healing from that but I imagine that anger and sadness are inevitable ... eventually.

Numbness, which is what I think you're saying? is a form of protection.

I have some huge issues that I found out regarding my origins and family truths and I felt numb about it for about 15 years! And I knew that numbness wasn't the reaction that anyone would expect. I think I just couldn't handle anything so my mind built a wall around the information. I talked about serious issues with a flat tone and a stony face - I felt nothing inside about it except marginally deflated. I could state facts but I couldn't FEEL.

Therapy is helping with that. And by helping I mean, leading to healing in a way that oftentimes feels excruciatingly painful.

This sounds so paternalistic but, good for you for having friends. I've noticed that a lot of people on these boards struggle alone. Even having one good friend in this world, which is often harsh, is an accomplishment and a treasure.

But yeah, it sucks they can't fill the void completely.