Going ok... Saturday night and sunday were awful for anxiety. But it was self inflicted... I went a bit overboard with the weed when I got home from holidays and then watched a disease disaster movie which triggered my anxiety big time. I felt gross all day yesterday, but managed to get through it. I was really proud of how I handled it. The temptation to take PRN meds was there but I used my coping stratagies - a shower, meditation and crystals to help me get through it. When it got to bed time I was scared I wouldnt sleep. I made some sleepy time tea and tried to meditate with my amethyst. It took about 15 minutes before I started to calm. But I did! Eventually I got to sleep in a few hours without the need for medication even though the anxiety was at a level I would usually need to take medication for I felt taking meds was cheating since the anxiety was self inflicted.

Today I feel kinda blugh, Im ok, not too anxious but not great like I was before going on the weed binge. I accept that it might take a few days for me to get back to normal.

I have my appointment with my endocrinologist today. I am a bit nervous about it as I cannot afford to take the car in so I am catching the train. I am useless on public transport, I get travel sick and get lost really easily. Its also going to be a very very hot day and I have a few kilometres of walking to do. I caught the train successfully on saturday morning so I am confident I can handle it again but this is new territory for me.

Im also worried he will palm me off for another 6 weeks... the PMDD cycles are hell, absolute hell. I get depressive and mixed type symptoms, as well as extreme fatigue. I want to get this sorted ASAP so I can continue with my life. Its exactly 9 days a month that I go crazy for, but it does take me a week or so to recover and get back into a healthy routine. The increase in AP did help last cycle but I dont like changing meds so dramatically so fast, it does have an affect on me. The last lot of period pain was so severe it took 2 weeks to subside. The pain from the cysts is getting way past the point of comfort. Im not sure how to tell him that this needs to be sorted sooner rather than later. Its really affecting my ability to move forward with my life.