Diagnosis this week of bipolar after treatment the last 25 years for depression. Having a crisis with my job. Been suicidal off and on. Started therapy again. Haven't been in therapy in 15 years at least. Many things to be happy about and celebrate but I struggle everyday to get up and face life..I call this phase the black pit. Currently on effexor,xanax, lexapro,and ambien. Meeting with psychiatrist later this month for med review and diagnosis confirmation. Was hospitalized in late 80's for major depression. Finally a diagnosis that seems to fit my emotions...now I just need coping skills...