Quote:
Originally Posted by here today
I had DDNOS, not DID. I didn’t have as many parts as I understand folks with DID do and I didn’t lose time. I had a “rational” part that managed most of my day-to-day life and two internal protector parts (seem like mostly introjects from my parents), and a little girl part that I (“rational”) only got glimpses of occasionally. I now think that she is probably the basic “me” (or self).
So, here’s an idea, but may not be right for you, of course. If one of your others was talking about something and your T asked how you felt about that having happened to you, then your T saying “you” may have triggered the basic you into “existence” briefly. And what happened to “you” had apparently happened in the real world, outside where the other was dealing with it, rather than – if your basic “you” was like mine – something internal you paid attention to. But because we are VERY concerned about paying attention to and managing our internal world, for reasons that were very important in the past, then it could make sense that you were annoyed with your T for taking your focus off that, even temporarily.
But if you’ve looked “out” once, it would seem like you can again. When “you” feel safe doing it. Also, for me, I think I’m getting pretty integrated so there’s not so much internal “stuff” that the basic me (or self) has to manage.
I told my T about how I felt at the post office and she said it wasn't that uncommon as people get better and that one of her other clients said that she hadn't noticed before how bright colors are.
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Your post gives me somethings to think about. I was annoyed at my t for saying "you" because we were talking to a little one. Someone that I see separate from me. When my t said "you" there was a moment when I realized that it did happen to me because we are all one just in parts. That realization hit me between in the chest. We are actually one person. It was a shock when she said it because it was real. At the same time I suddenly had a powerful feeling of clarity. In my minds eye I saw a blue sky and bright sunlight. Than the window closed. There is something to that experience and something to the insight you referenced about looking outward instead of always looking in. It's a shift of perception, and perspective, a change in how I function now. I never thought about it before but I do look in all the time. We all spend a lot of time focusing on what each of us is doing, saying, wanting etc. The outside world is not as real as my inside world, for me. I have ones who are in the world but most of us are never in the world. Right now the closest we come to being in the world is at session talking to t. There is something to what you have said I just need to clarify it in my head.