hi, you are not rambling, nothing wrong in what you are doing, you are right though you only get back what you put into it, and it will pay off as soon as your t goes into maternity leave. I am really proud of you, you are working hard at this. I really knew something would work for you, dont give up. I am going through a very rough patch right now, so I am trying to cope, but I just wanted to respond to your post because, I know you have been there done that, and I can relate. So keep it up ok.