My therapist leaves in 5 weeks for those keeping up with my posts you already know, this is the second time a t leaves me in the middle of trauma work. after working together for over a year.

I am very hurt, dont know if I can give this a third chance, anyway I see my t on wednesday, but I wont see these new t until the following weeks, individually with my current t present, to see who is the better fit.

I go to a mental health clinic which is very good, I get along with everyone, the receptionists are great the pdocs all know me,, they treat me like family. My pdoc is there also.

My problem is this, there are about 12 therapists in that building, about 3 new therapists, which I know she will not set me up with, but there is this one therapist, which my friend sees and she is suppose to be good, but she has a disability, she has somewhat of a speech impediment, and she reads lips, so you constantly have to look at her while you speak.

My friend says she has been a great help to her, but there is no way, as I am dealing with csa, and I tend to look at the floor when I speak, I dissociate, I just look at the floor or elsewhere sometimes, and I need to know clearly what the t is saying to me.

I dont have any predudice with any disabilities , because of course i have mh issues and my h is disabled and so forth, but I dont want her to be the one she reccomends.

I mostly have seen all these therapists, because of sitting in the waiting room I see them picking up thier clients. I have not been eating well, I am not depressed, but Been sleeping more, more nightmares and intrusions, starting hallucinating some, irritated, angry, thoughts of si briefly,racing thoughts, isolating and shutting down.

I dont need to go into a hypomanic state right now, which i dont think i will because I am sleeping, interrupted , but i am sleeping.