I guess I am slow today, but remind me what ocpd is, please.

Assuming your fiancee is an adult, then as far as I know, epilepsy shouldn't make her somehow disabled, needing her mom to help her with everything! Is your financee actually able to take care of herself and clean and so forth? If so, then why is she "allowing" her mother to do all that? At most her mother should just get room and board (like rent).

Of course, driving is generally a problem. I am wondering why her mom thinks she should get all her daughter's money, too.

I don't know all about your advocate, but maybe your fiancee can stay with the friend for a bit longer until this matter gets talked about a bit more.

I am sorry your future m-i-l is such a pain. If it's any consolation, I don't think she would be happy with anyone wanting to marry her daughter.