OMG I'm freaking out. My husband is a contractor and this time of year is very slow - worse bc of the weather. I went from a high paying job to SSDI in 2010, so we are barely have a dual income. I took a friend out for her bday Friday, and my debit card was declined - it was humiliating.

I feel so guilty because during a bad manic attack I bought a freaking house. So now my name is on 3 houses At this time we do not have tenants (we made the houses rentals) so it's been awful! My parents have helped us out in the past which really hurts my husbands ego I think.

So we are in the red with 3 mortgages to carry. To make matters worse my husband refinanced his house a few years ago, and I basically blew through $16K. I couldn't tell you what the hell I even spent the money on. I know we are blessed to have a roof over our heads - or make that 3 roofs But this is awful. Our furnance went out last year, and we don't have the money to replace it. So, we are using 2 space heaters! There is ice on the inside of our windows, and we are wearing hats and gloves. I am just so flipping stressed and feel like this is all my fault. I want to get a PT job, but it is really hard with the bipolar etc. My husband has no health insurance and he smokes. God forbid if anything happened to him, and his job is not exactly safe. Then I have a broken crown and other messed up molars. My dentist made up a tally of the work I need done and it's $7K hahahah. That's all I can say at that.

I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone who is unemployed or trying to get on disability. I know there are many who are worse off than we are. l

Sorry for the long post, and thanks for letting me vent.

tnt