Well there is the saying if you cannot love yourself, you cannot love others as well. People often dislike clichés, but often it might be because they are true, and truth can be annoying.

So some people think they love, but they might offer a very unhealthy version of it or it might not be love at all. it's hard to spot the difference sometimes, especially if you have not be shown love by others or yourself.

It took me untill almost 30, to start to understand healthy love. It's a slow process, for some of us who have not been shown a lot of love, or taught healthy love.

As someone who has been abused by parents, abandoned and homeless in youth, raped, married to an extremely violent person.. It sure made it difficult for me to differentiate between healthy love and something else under the guise of love.

It really wasn't untill I could start to lend myself some love that I started to really be able extend true love to others, and in return be able to receive love as well. Receiving love can be just as difficult for some.

This is just my experience, but it's a pretty common experience as well.

I wish you all the best to find what you need, everyone needs to be loved, and to love. I believe everyone can find it too, including you.