Hi,

So anxiety and depression have been a part of my life for a long time. I usually manage it with CBT type activities, nutrition, sleep, etc. About 6 weeks ago it flared up in a big way and really has not left (posted my story in the new member intro thread). Some days are definitely worse than others. Just leaving my house is a tremendous ordeal today in the amount of effort it takes to get ready and go do the things I need to do. I think part of it is the medication I am taking. I don't feel right.

I just started taking Cymbalta (30mg) about 4 weeks ago. First time taking an anti-depressant for me. Also taking Ativan for anxiety management. Doc also prescribed Zopiclone for sleep but it has no real effect. Everyone's reactions are different I know. For me the Cymbalta worked quickly and for about a week and a half. Since then I feel more jittery, more anxious and weird all the time. It definitely has not helped with the insomnia I was having- likely is making it worse. Anxiety is increasing daily. Only thing that seems to help slow me down is the 1mg of Ativan I am taking at night before bed. Not much sleep, but I am more calm while I am awake most of the night. I am worried though now about continuing to take Ativan because of the dependancy issue. I know I am not taking much and it has only been a few weeks, but that is freaking me out too today.

I am back to the doc tomorrow to look at other options. What little I have read and understand about SNRI's (like Cymbalta) is that they also increase the availability of nor-epinephrine (adrenaline) in your brain to give you an energy boost alongside the increase of availability of serotonin. I think for me this 'boost' is a little too much.

Did not take the Cymbalta today because I could not stand another day of jitters and feeling so amped up. Wondering now if the anxiety today is because of that? Might be I guess. It always seems to be there so who knows really.

Trying to get through my day with breath work, guided visualization, relaxation exercises and signing up to the forums. It seems to be working mildly, panicky feelings come in waves and then reside.

I go back to work tomorrow after a couple weeks off, that is definitely adding to the anxiety. Worried how I am going to make it through my day.

One day at a time right? Need to focus on right now, this moment and be happy my heart isn't racing and my thoughts are a bit less catastrophic than usual. Sharing on the forums seems to help. Just gets it out of my head.

Thanks for reading this