yea i understand that too. im on ssdi. and have lost all motivation in life DUE TO meds. i feel like a leach on society too but wonder if i lower my meds maybe i can get back interested in things. but this will never happen if i dont lower my meds and im having trouble getting the pdoc to lower them. he doesnt care. period. becuase if i was on private insurance and seeing a private doc i bet hed care more. or at least listen to me more.

i live with one of my parents too Erti. my dad. he takes care of me. and its kinda like i care for him too cause hes in his late 60s. and has an alcohol problem.

i got disability really fast with no lawyer so i always wonder if im truly THAT disabled. i suppose i am since ive gotten everythign from schizoaffective to chronic paranoid schizophrenia on my diagnosis sheets.