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Jan 06, 2014, 06:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 15LRC
I seriously believe people just simply do not like me, or at least not enough to be friends. It is always me who initiates contact with people, even if people in person say they are interested in hanging out or just simply talking, it is always me who initiates it and I'm no dummy, it clearly means they really don't care about me as much. And it is with everyone, like I seriously am sick of it and I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I can take a hint and if I find people really don't want me then I back off, but just don't understand why people don't like me. People will be like, oh yes, we should or will definitely hang out, and may even mention a specific day or what we should do. But then when it comes around, they are no where to be found. Sometimes I'll contact them and they'll say they can't or have already made other plans, or I'll wait for them to contact me and they never do. So it is obvious something is wrong, just don't know what it is.  I'm really sick of it and it upsets me so much, I'm almost at the point of literally giving up on everyone all together, like literally stop trying to interact with people and only talk to people on a very superficial level since that's what people only seem to want to do with me. |
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You sound a lot like me. I just read your profile and I'm also sensitive and I tend to worry a lot too. I also have similar issues. Anyways, perhaps these people are just flakes? Also, maybe they are to busy to hang out, so instead of being honest with you, they just offer you a bunch of lame excuses as to not hurt your feelings.
Also, when you come across as to eager to hang out, they might think that you're desperate for friends and back off. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but if you contact someone more than once in a row, you might come across as needy. Let them be the one to contact you after the first email or call. If they don't, then move on.
Not everyone will like you no matter how nice you are. Sometimes some people don't click personally for whatever reason. Try not to take rejection personally and don't let a few rejections turn you into a recluse. There is this group called meetup.com that you should join as even I was able to meet a few people on there that I ended up becoming friends with. I'm shy and introverted, so if I can meet people on there, so can you!
It's a numbers game, and sometimes you just have to put yourself out there. Keep social interaction light at first. If you start talking about serious matters and your problems to soon, most people will not want to hang out with you. I learned about that the hard way. Take your time in getting to know people. Talk about common interests like school, movies, music, books, etc...
Avoid controversial topics or talking about other people as much as possible. Don't make jokes that can be taken out of context until you get to know people better. Ask people more questions about themselves. Watch body language to see if they are being honest or not. Closed body language is a sign of disinterest or shyness. Watch yours too. I hope that this helped!
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