Maybe the opposite of what turned me off for 33 years of my marriage.....

A man who wants to grow up & be responsible rather than stay a child all his life.

A man who is financially responsible who doesn't spend money he doesn't have & doesn't use credit to get the things he wants.

A man who doesn't lie by withholding information or telling you lies that he believes to be true but you find out later that he was making them up because he was afraid to say 'I don't know....I will look it up & get back with you'

A man who can take care of problem situations without ignoring them or finding some excuse for not taking care of them & then you find out about it so long after that either I have to figure out how to clean up the mess he made or nothing can be done to fix it by then.

A man who doesn't make me be the man of the family but who is willingly an equal partner in the relationship.

A man who is doesn't blame his failures on everything & everyone other than himself.....or better yet a man who doesn't have those failures in the first place because the attitude problem isn't there to cause the failures in the first place.

A man who doesn't have to put others down with sarcasm to make himself feel better.

What I really wanted was a man who had his career & his life together but who would also allow me to have my life & career together & we would come together with our resources to make a successful loving & caring marriage.

& I wondered why all those 33 years I had no interest in my H or felt any love for him. If only I had understood those red flags then rather than now & I had listened to myself then I never would have married .....I am glad to not have to live around him any longer but the damage he's done lingers on.