Well, my favorite color & my favorite flower, hello!

I am very sorry that you're having such a difficult time right now. I can relate in many ways, but I won't bore you.

In my experience, your T is a bit "off". I have known many elders that most certainly do hold onto their money tightly instead of handing it onto loved ones in need unfortunately. That has been a very sad and repetitive fact that I've seen several times in my life. (I'm 43 y.o.)

I think that I would start off by contacting county authorities and applying for financial assistance. This season is tough, but there are programs out there that you may be eligible for.

Immediately after finding out what help you qualify for, you then should have a clear picture of where you are financially. I certainly can understand how hard it is to go to your father for help, but you need help. Plain and simple. Your creditors don't give a hoot where you get the money, but they want it now! Maybe you should take a course in learning how to manage your income as well?

I digress, Give your father a couple of options. Lay it all out on the table clearly at once. (Instead of going to him every few days or whatever) Make it clear that you will pay him back in payments of $x /month, starting in ___.Work out a payment plan that he agrees with. Lay it out ~ so he can see your income and debts. He manages his money well, so he ought to be able to give you some helpful advice too.

You don't have to kiss his hiney, but you should be ready to swallow your pride a bit. You're in a very difficult spot right now ~ you're going to have to let go of some things to deal with it. Pride level does come down. Extras has to come down as well. A $200 monthly cable/internet bill? That's insane! Is it that high because it's 2 bills in one & only costs $100 something per/month? That is okay, and seems to be the going rate. Realistically though, cable & internet are not monthly necessities. It kind of stinks to be without, but, you * could* manage your life without them.

Whatever you do, don't avoid the companies that are hounding you for payments! Answer their calls, make smaller payments, show them that you are trying to get them paid off & it may just take a little longer. If you can, go into the bank & sit down with one of the bank managers and explain your plan to re-pay them quickly very clearly. Try not to get emotional, or over-explanatory with them. Simply show that you CAN be trusted. Hopefully, after some quick financial work and a good talk, they will reinstate your bank account.

I hope that I'm not coming across in a mean or judgmental way ~ I really do not intend to at all. My hub and I had to declare bankruptcy before our divorce, because a couple of his bills were out of control. Before that, however, I used every dollar that I could get a hold of to make payments to my debtors. Other than my student loan, I got all of my creditors paid off after several months. My student loan wasn't allowed on the bankruptcy, but as a married couple, I was considered "fair game" to go after in order to pay my exe's debts, so that had to be done before our divorce went through.

It is complicated ~ I understand that. (((hugs))) to you purpletulip. I'm sorry that you're also suffering with your intense uterine fibroid. No fun at all! I had adenomyosis for many, many years before I finally had the support and means to get the hysterectomy done (almost 3 years ago). A very supportive and informative site that I often used to help me with my misery (on the adeno issue) was: hyster-sisters.com mobile They really were terrific in many ways!

I gave you lots of info...hope that it helps you through. You can make it! But, you do have to swallow first a couple of times & keep your pride in check.