Basically, the REASONS I SI are:- to release tension; and to feel physical pain. I have tried:- CBT, meds, distraction, counselling...to stop but part of my problem is that I disassociate very easily and often SI at these times. I don't open up very easily either (usually), and find it SOOO hard asking for help or ringing a helpline when I start to feel this way. Coz I don't open up, things build up inside and I need a release. The pain inside is easily blocked off, and feeling it in a physical sense validates it more. At the mo, e.g., i am under overwhelming stress at home and am getting very little help (due to lack of resources, not lack of ASKING!!!) and the stress is mounting up. SI at the mo is my way of staying 'grounded'- not disassociating and blocking 'life' out but feeling the tension ease and feeling connected to the world... I know I have contradicted myself a couple of times, but the reasons change according to the circumstances.