My husband and I have been married for 1 yr and a half. At the very beginning of the relationship we were so in love, but I felt that there were a lot of red flags. He started checking my phone and asking me to delete friends from facebook and from my phone.. I stopped seeing him but then I felt that I was wrong and that maybe he was right I think I was just missing the flowers, dinners, the company and the gifts... We started dating again a month after I had told him I didn't want to see him again bc of the red flags... Then he started talking about marriage and started showing up at my doorstep with the excuse that he had a gift for me and it was a surprise... I started having nightmares of him being aggressive and a psycho but I thought it was just me being paranoid.. A month after, feeling soo in love with him I realise that he was increasing the fighting over guys in tv, guys on facebook who were just friends from school etc I told him I wanted to leave him again and so I planned to travel by myself bc I had wanted to travel for months and nobody could go with me. I bought the tickets and started missing his calls, flowers etc... I decided to try one last time. This time he was trying not to be jealous and to think before saying things to me but at the same time he was starting to try to make me feel like it was my fault and to try to make me feel guilty for my past (and there is nothing wrong with my past!!) So that was the last time I would give him a chance and he was failing.... So i decided to ask him for some time apart just to clear my mind. the next day I found out that I was pregnant. I tried so hard to not get pregnant but he was also trying so hard to get me pregnant and he did it bc I could've done more to prevent it from happening.. And so I stayed with him bc we were going to have the baby and bc i loved him so much... I had the baby, fight after fight he would ask me about my past realtionships on our anniversary, Christmas day .. all holidays would be ruined over his obsessive questioning! So not even 6 months after having the baby I had to stop taking the pill bc i was making me sick and I had a serious talk with him about him not tricking me again into getting pregnant. I trusted him one more time and one more time he got me pregnant... So here I am many pounds heavier, with a 10 month old baby and waiting for my second baby in a few months..... Since my pregnancy is high risk I moved to a different state to stay with my parents so that they would help me with the babies and my husband was going to come in a couple of months or as soon as he could find a job.. but the truth is that since I've been away from him I feel happier, and even though he still calls a lot and messages a lot and questions a lot and believes all he imagines I am doing; I have felt healthier, more like myself.. I guess I wanted to wait until the kids grew up to then divorce him because I am TERRIFIED to go through the process of divorce and custody with him and I have no money and can't work because of the risk of my pregnancy.

I hope this wasn't too long and thanks for reading the story of the last 1.5 yrs of my life....