Although I'm not a professional it seems like you are deeply depressed. I have this as well from time to time. It feels useless and there's no point in life. The point is you will get out of it you will come through it and it is better on the other side. With medication therapy and help and support.from us here at PC you will learn to go for a hike,go for coffee, make friends, be more social and learn what triggers you to be depressed. Consider it a brain reaction to not having the medication your brain needs. Hopefully you'll find the proper medication.
I'm Schizoaffective bipolar type and PTSD so I do understand depression. Be well,and we're here.

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