Wow, Anikas' replies made ME feel better!
What great insight you have...sounds like you've done your work!
I am empathizing with Light too, honestly, I'm in an in-between place...I've been single for a really long time, unfortunatly, the wounded person I was tended to select exactly the type of person to be attracted to who would be most likely to renew all the pain stories from my family education...sadly, it hasn't been until very recently that I've learned how I am, and how I bring that, and how to recognize this.
One of the things I've learned in my aloneness is that fear does create a lot of its own self fulfilling prophecies.
So, in order to not be afraid you do have to look at yourself and address your own fears first, find out whats behind them...then when you know, its not so easy to be afraid.
Coming from a negative space to find a partner never seems to end well. When you are healthy and good for yourself you begin to attract that to yourself.
But, you kind of need to be willing to just see the people who come into your life as just that, not as potential partners or potential anything. Just let them be, and if they stay, they stay. Yes of course, you want to foster good communication and healthy interraction, but, I think, patience and the willingness to delay gratification will lead you to recognize the best possible guy to trust and love when he does show up.