Sometimes my brain is too full to read long posts. Skip to The point is, if you too don't feel like it

I was diagnosed this past summer with what I thought was BPII but recently came to discover is BP NOS. I haven't told anyone, not my husband, parents, siblings, no one. I haven't told because mainly I didn't think it would benefit me in any way. In terms of telling so that others can better understand my behavior, I just thought the price of telling wasn't worth it even as selfish as that may be.

Recently I had for lack of other words a brain fart. I feel disconnected with my family of origin but something really good happened for one of them. They called me to share the news but I got it all confused. I thought the person calling was someone else calling and was like why in the world would that person call me and tell me that it is so weird considering that I have NO relationship with them. I thought it was like boasting, just to call me and have only called me 1 time in 20 years to tell me only that literally and say goodbye, no call me, etc. just literally say this is X, this happened OK by. It felt just weird.

Well actually who did call and left the message (which included their name) was someone that I would call and say hey congrats as they are more a part of my life and it makes sense that they would call.

I don't know if any of what I wrote makes any sense. But I can't believe I got it confused like that. My Mom said she wondered what was going on with me because that was so unlike me to not want to call someone and congratulate them the reality is I didn't get who called when they left a clear message that I listened to a few times. Mom went on about how it didn't seem like me, but now it seems like the Manymiles she has always known is acting how she is familiar with.

So out of that I am thinking of telling my MOM. Just as a way to say yes something is going on with me. I'm on these meds and things are a bit different for me sometimes like forgetting stuff, or just not getting some things like before and using the wrong words for things but sometimes catching it a second later. People do make mistakes like that who are not on meds or whatever. I just thought OMG that was weird for me too. why didn't I get that. It may sound like no big deal but I don't not get those type of things normally and too wonder why I did.

I am all emotional this time of uhh month so don't know maybe it's just that. I just feel like I owe her an explanation for being so out of character. what do you all think?

The point is..If someone doesn't know your diagnosis but you want to explain your behavior how do you do that? I am afraid that I may not act like myself again. Telling my Mom (who lives in another state) may explain some things to her. At the same time I don't want her or anyone to think oh she did XYZ because of her meds or because she has BP.

Thanks for reading.