So I feel relatively stable, for the most part. Maybe it's an illusion. Mood wise, I feel fine, good even. Not overly good, but good, if that makes sense.

However it's not my mood that seems to be the problem now. I keep having thoughts of self harm, and even suicidal ideation. Not because things are bad, but because they are good. I'm so afraid that things are going to be wrong, and I'd rather not face the fall. I don't feel like I'm going to act on the thoughts but it bothers me that I'm having them. Like I said, other than the thoughts, I feel stable. I'd consider going IP but we can't afford for me to be off work now.

I'm afraid to tell my wife how I'm feeling, because I don't know how she would react. I don't know what to do. If anyone has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it.